:: But what do you do when you want to do everything? How do you manage your energy and focus and avoid things like anxiety and burnout? Short answer: It isn’t easy. Long answer: I don’t know exactly what will work for you, but I have some good ideas for you.

Dear Friends,

If you are ADHD, AuDHD, or a similar kind of Misfit (I’m AuDHD), then you might have trouble keeping up with your Self and all of the things that your Self wants to do. I was writing in my notebook just this week about all of the amazing projects I want to work on and why isn’t there more time in the day and…and…and.

I did a little gratitude work to help calm my firebrain (what I call it when I’m overwhelmed by ideas). First, I said, Isn’t it great that you have all of the ideas for cool projects? (Books, teaching videos, workshops and talks, and more books, and also I decided to train a new baby horse.)

And I also wrote, Isn’t it wonderful that so much of your work is work that you WANT to do?

It’s true—I’m super lucky that I get to work for myself. It took many years to get here, but I do.

Now, let’s be real—there are a lot of things on the to-do list that are NOT things I want to do (ahem, QuickBooks) but I do them because I must.

But having this feeling of deep inspiration, and having projects that draw me in and make me love the work I do, that’s lucky indeed.

But what do you do when you want to do everything?

How do you manage your energy and focus and avoid things like anxiety and burnout?

Short answer: It isn’t easy.

Long answer: I don’t know exactly what will work for you, but I have some ideas.

Advice for how to embrace your creative side without blowing a circuit:

(1) Limit yourself to one “big” task a day. For example, I’m writing two books at the same time right now. But the day I dug deep into the book proposal for Book #1, I took a break from Book #2. Another day, I got started on my daily writing practice for Book #2, and ended up writing 5000 words (I shocked myself with that one). When I was done, I said, Okay, you’re done now. Done with everything. And I watched Stranger Things that evening rather than turning back to Book #1.

(2) Take breaks. Lots of breaks. Related to Stranger Things in #1. You’re going to hyperfocus, and that’s great. But then you’re going to come out of it. And when you do, TAKE A BREAK. This is an order. Lots of Misfits like us have trouble with interoception—we don’t notice if our back is hurting or if we need to pee or if we’re hungry or thirsty while we are zoomed in on a task. Take care of your body, friends. Take a walk around the block. Do some jumping jacks. (I’m tending toward the jumping jacks at the moment because it is so COLD.)

(3) Take a day (or half-day) off. Y’all, I’m not going to lie, this is the HARDEST THING for me. I work 7 days a week. Picture the dowager countess saying, “What is a weekend?” and you’ve got me. But just because I love my work and want to work on it every day doesn’t mean I SHOULD. That’s the road to burnout. You have to take time away from your projects. Watch TV. Read a book. Lie in bed all day. This is not permission. This is an order.

(4) Be mindful of overwhelm. When I have so many things that I want/need to do, like many Misfits, I can get so overwhelmed that I can’t get out of bed. This is related to #3, above, when I said that I have a hard time taking time off. I convince myself that I’m only wanting to lie in bed and read on a Sunday because I’m overwhelmed and avoiding. And y’all, it’s true—it can be hard to tell the difference.

Here’s my advice: if you are lying in bed unsure if you just need a break or if you’re avoiding because of overwhelm, Do One Thing. Pick one small task, I recommend something that takes about 20 minutes to complete, max. Do that one thing. If your brain perks up and says, Hey, I can do this! I feel much better now!, then you were overwhelmed, and my Do One Thing tactic broke the chokehold. But if you do the one thing and you’re like, That was nice, but now I’m certain I want to roll around in bed, then you just need a break.

(5) Work with a friend. I love this one. I have co-working sessions multiple times a week. They help me stay on track with my projects, but also remind me that I’m not alone in this thing I’m doing AND keep me grounded. If you are interested in learning more about co-working sessions for neurodivergent people, comment on this post. I’m going to start hosting one!

As always, feel free to share this letter with anyone who might need it. Love to you all.

-Katie