:: Seriously, though: When something great comes your way, do you ever wonder, even just a little bit, “Do I deserve this?” or “People are going to figure out that I’m a fraud?”

Dear Friends,

Recently, I read a self-help book called The Big Leap, which is essentially about doing something I find very stressful: putting all of your professional eggs in one basket.

The author is right, of course. If you spread yourself too thin, then you can’t get anything done, or done well. You lose focus on your ideal work—or you work yourself too hard and burn out.

The author gives four reasons for why people use too many baskets (this basket thing is my metaphor, do not blame him), and these reasons are really brutal.

For example, a person might believe that they’re not good enough to deserve to have a successful career or basically to have any good, steady, happy things come their way because they’re inherently flawed in some way.

[silence]

[more silence]

Anyways, it was a good book, and now I’m trying the eggs-in-one-basket thing. And also I have a lot to talk about with my therapist about why I don’t think I’m good enough to deserve to have nice things happen to me.

Seriously, though: When something great comes your way, do you ever wonder, even just a little bit, “Do I deserve this?” or “People are going to figure out that I’m a fraud?”

Maybe a little?

Probably yeah?

If so, try these things:

1. Remember that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

2. Remember, also, that A lot of people feel this way, and you do not HAVE to feel this way.

3. Repeat to yourself: “I am not a fraud. I DO deserve good things. I got the good thing BECAUSE I deserve it.” The proof, as they say, is in the pudding—or the basket, in this scenario.

4. CELEBRATE. If a good thing comes your way, you must, must celebrate it. Even the smallest wins deserve a toast.

I’m working hard to believe it myself. We can work hard together.

Love,

Katie

Things to Check Out:

(1) Lisa Cooper Ellison on the Brevity Blog, writing about feeling worthy and writer’s block. (Totally apropos of this letter, by the way.) Read it here.

(2) My forthcoming book, YOUR KID BELONGS HERE: An Insider’s Companion to Parenting Neurodiverse Children got a great review in Publishers Weekly. I’m thrilled! I’m celebrating the win! Read it here.

(3) Check out my latest Psychology Today piece, “Neurodivergent Kids Can Thrive in Unschooling.” Read it here.