"Freezing Drizzle" is not a weather event, it's an insult

“Freezing Drizzle” is not a weather event, it’s an insult

I keep thinking I’m going to write something witty, and then I check the weather. The latest weather report (pictured above) sent me over the edge.

Freezing drizzle.

My friend just informed me, “They are just pulling weather word tiles out of the bag and putting them together.”

How many times can you say, “Crappy freezing rain that’s going to ruin everything for the next few days, knock out power, be terrible to play in, be ugly to look at, be impossible to drive safely on, and basically make you grumpy?”

My weather app is trolling me.

"Feels like"

“Feels like”

The app can’t even tell me the temperature. Apparently it’s 31 degrees but you wouldn’t know because really it feels like 20 degrees. What does that even mean? Is that wind chill? It’s not windy.

Is that because the sleet whips down your collar, past your scarf, whips between your gloves (which are good gloves because you used to be a G-D ski instructor) and your coat, clings to your pants like small shiny ice-ticks until your entire body feels like it is a chapped, freezer-burned piece of detritus someone fished out of the water near the Arctic Circle?

Is THAT what “feels like” means?

Don’t tell my kids, though. White crap on the ground only means one thing to them. SLED or DIE.

Sledding in sleet = sledding to my kids

Sledding in sleet = sledding to my kids

So we went sledding today. Actually, we went sledding three separate times today. I had to go outside in this complete crap, each venture requiring an entire new set of clothing because of the clingy ice-ticks mentioned above that turned all clothing into a sopping mess. I’m going to have approximate 400m loads of laundry to do by the time this s***-storm is over.

Freezing drizzle. That’s not a weather report. That’s an epic trolling.

Alt Text: Monochrome photograph of a rain shower on a brick walkway. Image via Pixabay.

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