:: Let me explain something. Our house sits on a lot the size of a postage stamp, and the man has three leaf blowers.

This past weekend, my sister and I did a Sister Road Trip (by plane) to New York for a thing. In that photograph above we are at the thing.

While I was gone, my husband had to stay and take care of our kids (2) and cats (3).

Sidebar: Two of those cats, Wilbur and Gracie, belong to my husband and they remain outside. One of those cats, Richard, is mine. Richard weighs about 6 pounds and she comes in and out of the house as she pleases. She is The Divine Princess Richard of all Things. This comes up later.

When I travel, my husband and I often text to keep up with each other. Especially when I’m only gone one night and two days. We both work, plus it’s easier to text when one parent (him) is chasing children.

First, there were the well-wishing texts. I sent him the photo of me holding Lego Angry-Unikitty. I always bring a Lego toy with me on my travels and take selfies with it for the kids to see.

Unikitty

Shortly thereafter, it was time to shop at the only place I buy clothes, MEG. (Take a look at that picture of me and my sis at the top of this post. We bought those dresses at Meg just to wear to the Thing. Meg. It really is the best.)

murdering credit card

Poor credit card. Poor dead credit card. But considering I only buy clothes when I’m in NY, and I only buy them at Meg, well, forgive me, right?

Wrong. Husband┬ácame back with some nonsense about my profligate spending and gave me a VERY RUDE nickname that I can’t print here. So I came back with this.

3 leaf blowers

Let me explain something. Our house sits on a lot the size of a postage stamp, and the man has three leaf blowers.

TRICK QUESTION: How many leaf blowers do we need?

NON-TRICK ANSWER: NONE.

Moving on.

Husband sent me this message a little while later. I’m so proud of my cat Richard.

killer richard

Richard’s favorite prey is [drumroll] RATS. As in, slightly larger, slightly fiercer, slightly less fluffy versions of squirrels. She’s killed AND EATEN two 8-12″ rats in the last month alone. I’m like, Sweetie Princess Richard, you precious little rat-killer you. She looks up at me with her big green eyes, with her little white paws and her little white teeth all covered in blood and entrails and mewls and my little heart goes pitter-patter. Such a proud mommy I am.

My cat, like her mommy, doesn’t mess around.